Hi James! I'm not sure if I can be helpful I have no idea what I'm about to say, which is unusual for me - but I related to what you said and find myself in a very similar situation right now. So if nothing else, this post is to let you know that you are not alone.

My name is Angel btw, and I'm a 52 year old guy. I have been mostly co-conscious with Sonseearae, who is a six year old girl, for about twenty-four years. I've gone beyond acceptance with her, she's my best friend in spite of the age difference and I continually learn from her. Children are great teachers if we only stop to listen I've found - and insider children are no different.

Recently, my T and I uncovered three more alters. The range of differences is quite surprising and frankly, stunning (to me). There is Micah, who is two and a half years old and it seems like he is actually Sonseearae's alter. Everything I know about him comes from her. There is Lori, a young teenage girl who, with great effort on my part, I have been able to share moments with, though it is very inconsistent. Lastly, there is another who I know nothing about except that he or she is a protector who only comes out during times of great danger at which point I have zero recollection of anything that happens when he or she is out - not even a fuzzy, shadowlike sense.

I am confident that this is everyone and glad that they have been recognized but it certainly has come with more than a bit of consternation. Sonseearae and I had worked out life and the problems that had come with dissociation for the most part. Now a monkey wrench has been thrown into our neat, tidy little world. So yeah, I get the difficulty accepting others.

I want to, because frankly, no one deserves to be neglected and everyone has value. That's the cognitive side of things - emotionally, we're torn. But here's the thing: My relationship with Sonseearae has improved my life. Without her...well, the sense of loss would be perhaps the most traumatic thing that ever happened to me which, for someone with DID, is saying something. So, if our relationship can be used as a bellwether, then developing and nurturing a relationship with these newly discovered 'others' also carries with it the potential for much added joy and happiness.

I try to keep that in mind moving forward and that has kept me open to continuing to accept, explore and develop relationships with the others. Perhaps the relationship between leigheas and you can be a motivating factor in accepting, exploring and developing relationship with your others. I do wish all of you the best moving forward, whatever you choose.