I crave human connection, but I don't know how to socialize. My emotions that I don't deserve things are because of my past experiences. I don't seem to be able to talk and act as a normal human being. People push me away when I try to socialize. I know it is because of my lack of social skills. I also feel my mind doesn't work as a normal person. I don't understand things as others do. May be I am on the autistic spectrum. I don't know.