Cannot move

I believe my upbringing has ruined my life. My parents aren't sociable people and have no connections with others, and I have inherited this issue. I want to get out of this reality, but I am so depressed to make any step for change. And even if an opportunity comes my way, I don't take it. I feel I don't deserve it.

Mere emotions never determine anyone's value, so ditch that kind of thought in favor of the facts: All human beings need social contact.

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. As I said on your other post, I really think a therapist and possibly a pdoc could help you. I hope you feel better soon. Best wishes.

I crave human connection, but I don't know how to socialize. My emotions that I don't deserve things are because of my past experiences. I don't seem to be able to talk and act as a normal human being. People push me away when I try to socialize. I know it is because of my lack of social skills. I also feel my mind doesn't work as a normal person. I don't understand things as others do. May be I am on the autistic spectrum. I don't know.

Thanks. Right now I cannot see a therapist. MIs where I live are equated with craziness, and the stigma is guaranteed to ostracize you from the whole community.

I'm really sorry to hear that. Could you go to your regular doctor? What about self help books or cd's?

I don't think regular doctors can help me. I tried many self-help books to no avail. I am waiting a miracle to change me.

Self-help books may be great for some people, but I am with you - I find them useless, but that does NOT mean that books cannot be very therapeutic. I hear you saying you feel you need help to become more engaged in life - I am a depressed introvert and my adult son is on the spectrum so I understand the crazy paralysis of social anxiety. You do like to write and you are very good at it. My son used to seek out writing groups where he would go every week or month to share, or not, his work with others. He felt comfortable and participated as little or as much as he felt comfortable with in the moment, and it gave him a great sense of independence from me. Please just know that you are so far from alone, and your sensitivity is a gift - a painful one that at times you would gladly return - it's incredibly difficult to "break out" - but there is also no need to pressure yourself into a pace or manner that does not feel good to you. Many Hugs, hang in there, keep writing.

Same for me.

No, it is because those people are not acting as they should, and the fault is theirs even if they push you away because they lack knowledge or do not understand...and again, drop the idea of mere emotions drawing intellectual conclusions.

There is no single "normal" for everyone; your "normal" is as normal for you as mine is for me.

I happen to be on the autism spectrum (Asperger Syndrone), and that is certainly a possibility. No two Aspies are ever identical, of course, but a lack of social and emotional intelligence is not at all uncommon. Do not expect other people to understand you, do not expect them to even really care and do not expect to find any magical pill or cure to make you like other people. Instead, learn about yourself as you actually are -- leave all emotion out of that -- and then learn how to do the basics of human interaction by approaching people while having their needs and interests rather than your own in mind. All people have the same overall inherent needs, instincts, desires and ambitions, and success in life is found in our learning how to contribute toward meeting them for others rather than for ourselves.