first about this post.....no offense here but if I remember right and according to past posts, you were not doing the greatest before they changed your meds and is why you wanted them to change your meds to begin with.

by reading your past posts i can see that the problems started well before your meds were changed.

let me show you something... for a couple days I have had this nagging pain, its a mental associated pain. I write about the pain, I complain to my wife about the pain but does that make the pain go away, no. what will? my calling my treatment provider and saying hey I have this pain. then following through with going to my treatment providers and doing exactly what they want me to do. we may not find out what the pain is right away, it may take many sessions, and trying many different treatments but until I follow through nothing is going to change. that pain is going to stick around .....until I make it change by changing my own behaviors and changing my own thinking process. rather than thinking this is hopeless and complaining and writing, there comes a time for making changes and action.

When i read your posts I think like that... I see you wanting and needing things to get better but no one can make those changes but you. we can read all your posts on how you want things to get better but only you can make things better.

Im going to be honest with you elevated soul. I care a lot for you and wish things would get better for you, but I dont think things are going to get better for you for a while... heres why...

heres what I see in your posts...

you went through detox/ getting sober but then you decided you didnt like being sober so you went back to drinking and drugs.

your treatment providers said they would help you with your SSI and getting you a specialist. instead of accepting their help, your next posts were about dropping out of treatment all together, quitting therapy.... yes your therapist said they could not help you because they were not specialists but they were not the ones that abandoned you. they were going to help get you a specialist but you said no and quit.

your recent posts say the treatment provider or case manager you have right now wants you to go into the hospital but you still have not gone...

these are just a few of your posts that I have been reading. Im not trying to be mean to you but I mention the above so that you can see what Im about to say....

I dont think you are going to get better just writing posts here on psych central. all we can do here is read your posts, we cant fix you.writing posts is ok just like making a grocery list of items is ok but without following through what happens.... you go hungry and your needs dont get met.

you have this need and want for things to get better but it takes more than needing and wanting things to happen, in order for it to happen. it takes a commitment to work with treatment providers (whether we get along with them or not sometimes) and following up on things like making changes in thinking and behaviors for things to get better.

my suggestion is contact your treatment providers that you do have and follow through with getting your specialist, and your SSI, go to the hospital and get stabilized. (no excuses) just jump right in, kind of like you enjoy jumping right into the internet researching. treat this like a research project on yourself. if you can handle doing allt his research on the internet finding all these obscure abstract articles you can handle doing a research project on your self by following through with your treatment plans that your treatment providers have tried to help you with.

think of it this way, the writers of all these articles you are finding had to write them with no excuses, they had to meet all kinds of rules and deadlines. set yourself a rule of no more making excuses and taking it one step at a time. pick something and go for it.

mind you all this is suggestions, only you can decide what you want and need to do in order to feel better. me its time for me to face this nagging pain and contact my treatment providers and make some changes in my life. how about you, is it time for you to make the changes needed to help your self feel better? if so what kinds of changes do you think you can do today to make today be an ok day for you?