I can't blame you for being deeply hurt when you read that.

Dad, I lived through that with my husband where he professed his love for me and would stop drinking and he literally begged and professed his love for me and how I am the only one etc. He would be good for a while until he wasn't and at the time I had not known he had also cheated on me. My therapist described that as part of his binge drinking disease and how he kept me in his cycle and when he was good that is called the honeymoon period. They don't really realize they are doing this either, it's part of the disease and it's very hard on the partner.

If your wife really loves you as she is professing then she needs to get help and come to the realization that she has a problem.

For myself, I finally had a friend explain to me how to pay attention to signs there is a problem with alcohol. I went to an alanon meeting and it scared me tbh. I put my foot down and said to my husband that I was unhappy and could no longer live this way. That was when he went to his first AA meeting and recognized he "did" have a problem. I stayed in my marriage, but statistically, the partner stays for about three years until they see their partner stable and then gets a divorce. After about six years when I finally found out my husband also cheated on me I went to see a marriage counselor and the marriage counselor told me that my husband had the maturity level of about age 13 and that he would be pushing my buttons to mother him. At that time my daughter was about the same age and I had to mother her, and learn how to not give into my husband pushing my buttons to mother him. It was hard and LONELY for me.

Your situation is different in that your wife never really got a chance to mature either. This is showing in how poorly she is communicating with you and how she wants to be on her own which is something she missed in her life where she was genuinely on her own and worked on developing her independence. However, it's important that you honestly look at what took place in your relationship and your part that contributed to the marriage falling apart. Yes, I see that you have been considering that.

Your wife just said to you that she loves you and wants to spend her life with you? Well, her behavior is not saying that and what she needs to do now is admit she has a problem and get help because the road she is going down is not going to help her, and will instead not only hurt her, but her children. What she just admitted in what you read in that whisper site is that her actions are going to damage two marriages. Not only that but this so called best friends she is doing this with is also being SELFISH when it comes to his marriage.