"You must've made some kind of mistake, I asked for death but instead I'm awake
The devil told me, 'No room for cheats', I thought I sold my soul but he kept the receipt."

-Bring Me The Horizon, 'Doomed'.

All of the distraction in the world can't save me. Nothing can save me. I guess I spent so much time trying to accept that, that it almost killed me. Kind of wish it had.
I tried so damn hard for so long. At the same time, I don't think I can do that to the people I love. Even if I do believe everyone would be better off without me.

So here I am at this crossroad. Do I stay or do I go? Or do I just let this pain keep building until I finally can't take anymore?

I'm just so tired of living in this ****ing agony. Maybe I did this to myself and had it coming. "They kicked the chair, but we-we helped tie the rope." Maybe this is exactly what I deserve.