Are emotions and feelings the same thing ? My emotions, ( or feelings ) about certain things are ruining my life. I'm beginning to question everything I thought to be true. I do my best to show that I care in many different ways. Yet I don get back what I need. And that is just some love and affection. My SO can not seem to show or give me this PHYSICAL love and affection. She doesn't feel she needs to. There are many reasons why she is this way. But the fact remains that I don't believe her. Why do people lie so much ? Why is there so much fakery going on.
What happens is that all this rejection makes me doubt myself. My self esteem.
My sanity! Am I completely wrong about everything ? Should I just keep my mouth shut and play along ? I can't ! I can't keep deflecting how I feel. Why would I want to be with someone who can't show love physically. There is so much more to this and I tend to give her the benefit of the doubt. But I know there is someone out there who can give me what I need. And it's nothing weird or extravagant. It's just plain old love and affection. Is that too much to ask ? I try and take care of her needs but I don't get back. I just keep giving and I don't want to give anymore because I'm tired. I dreaded being alone before. But I somehow learned how to. Maybe that's the best thing for me. Most people cannot deal with " truths". I just don't want to play the game anymore.
Sorry for this nonsensical rambling.