I'm almost sorry I made this thread in such a self centered manner. but I guess I'll be glad when I'm a little unhappier.

I'm in sort of a good mood right now, so I don't think anything was too bad. Just the normal yelling and exasperating issues.

I won, though. My father was so controlling so I forced a game of wills and won. I broke him, though, or maybe he was already broken. I broke both of my parents and they both hated me, especially my mother. But I guess I forced things to a standstill. There was less fighting after that, only invisible power struggles and the fighting was about me. Can you imagine--all of this before I was 12. Too stubborn for such a young child. No wonder my parents were afraid.

It's funny because my father would self harm in front of the family. It was mesmerizing. It was the best part of the fighting. I think it was the only way he knew how to express himself other than displays of dominance. Maybe I self harm because it makes me feel closer to him. I get what I deserve. I am truly my father's daughter. I should tell a therapist that. They'd love me.

I'm not someone you should feel sympathy for. I'm pretty nasty. I'm worse than my parents. They hurt each other and me out of stupidity and stressful situations. I did everything on purpose.