Thanks, didgee. I experienced a culture of fault-finding and blame, too. But that was very common in my family and culture of origin so it was very hard for me to "see" -- I had a bunch of defense mechanisms and denial, I suppose. Not sure what it was, but it sure worked with the therapy culture to keep me blaming and fault-finding in myself, as if, if I could find all the faults, then I -- in "alliance" with the therapist -- could fix them. Sounds "good" and noble and idealistic and scientific, doesn't it? I sure thought so. Super sucks.