I have a love / hate relationship with emotions.

Personally, as of late, I have experienced far too much hopelessness, helplessness, fear, anxiety, depression, frustration, sadness, shame, guilt, anger and loneliness.

The thing I absolutely CANNOT STAND, is when an emotion exists and I cannot understand why. I was told by healthcare professionals to, "Befriend my emotions," the idea being that they held tremendous value and were a pathway to understanding what is going on deep down inside, on the subconscious level... Unmet needs, undiscovered traumas and fears, etc...

The frustration, however, is when there are primary emotions, stacked with secondary emotions and even tertiary emotions, etc....

Such as...

I feel really angry (primary emotion) for no apparent reason... Because I am angry and I cannot figure out why, I become frustrated (secondary emotion). Because I am frustrated and angry and I don't know why, I then get a mixture of (third level) emotions spawning off into all sorts of directions, such as depression, confusion, loneliness, hopelessness, etc....

It is a horrible feeling.

Add this to the fact we with Borderline and Traumas typically have an overly sensitive amygdala and we get increased intensity and possibly duration of emotions...

FUN.

Sometimes I feel so many emotions I cannot even label them all; it is just a cluster of messy emotions.

I also rarely feel positive emotions, which SUCKS. It would be nice to get a break from time to time and remember why it is we put up with the baggage bestowed upon us by all the incompetent and evil human beings who crossed our path... Who scarred us...

Grrr.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz