What emotion do you hate the most?

I am in a weird mood today. I feel sad, among other things but sad seems to be the main one. And I don't know why, I wish I knew... If i knew I could accept it.

So anyways I'm sad and sitting here, decided to ask all of you. Which emotion do you hate the most?

I can handle angry and anxious. Probably because those are my main moods. And when I'm angry I like to clean so it gives me something to do. When I feel sad and depressed I'm just like a shell of a person. And it feels like nothing. I don't enjoy anything. I don't even want to go gamble... Which is not normal for me at all. It came out of no where about an hour ago... at least I can't think of a reason. I'm hoping I snap out of it soon. I'll take anything over feeling empty. But I would really like to be happy for just 24 hours straight .. I wonder what that would feel like

I am on the fence over if anger or hatred are worse... I dislike both with a tremendous passion.

They can be used in positive ways, yes... but generally with me, when they occur, they don't know how to "go away" after the "positive benefit" has been used up. At that point, it either festers, or explodes... either of which are very detrimental to me.

Loneliness ~ For me, loneliness just stinks and I hate it!

Sadness or any other "blue" emotion such as loneliness, hopelessness, or any kind of depression.

I would take anger, hatred, or malice over sadness or hopelessness. At least, if I am angry, I am stronger and more motivated to do something about whatever upsets me. Additionally, being angry feels a lot better than being sad.

Sorry, sadness is for the birds. If I am sad, I do whatever it takes to force myself to either feel anger or nothing. If I am at home and feel lonely or sad, I play a music playlist full of death metal, heavy industrial, and agrotech to stimulate aggression in myself so that I don't feel sad.

Why not try to invoke happiness rather than anger? (Just curious)

Fear. There is always something to be feared so it can happen at any time. It undermines your ability to perform. It feeds on itself, small fears become big fears, fear spreads like a fire. Fear too strongly and it might come true like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I would think invoking happiness wouldn't be possible at that moment. Because happiness is a positive emotion. And we are comparing nenative ones. Anger is more appealing than sadness.

Sadness can suck it. By the way I'm feeling not so sad. I'm kinda meditating on the specific feelings and able to declare it and accept it.

Because I don't know how?

Using relaxation techniques and coping methods in combination with each other.

To relax try these things:

Diaphragm breathing -instead of inflating n deflating chest to breathe, use stomach muscles, in to exhale, out to inhale

Muscle relaxation - with each group of muscles, one at a time (ex both fists are one group), tighten as hard as you can for count of 5, release count of 5, tighten 1/2 possible amount to count of 5, release count of 5, barely tighten at all count of 5, release count of 5, move on to next set... until full body (including face) has been relaxed, if ever a part becomes tight again, go back and redo that part after completion of the muscle group you are currently relaxing, then continue from where you left off.

Visualization - pick a scene in your mind that if there would fully relax you and make you happy. Close your eyes.
How does it smell? (List everything, even if it's just salty air) allow yourself a memory or dream of these smells, and smell it
How does it look? (Detail it) Picture what it would look like and see it.
How does it feel? (Is it hot, cold?, Is it dry, wet? Sandy, grassy, Rocky.. what do those textures feel like? Is there wind blowing on you? etc) allow yourself to feel these sensations
How does it sound? (Are there birds? Cars? Waves? People? Wind?) Allow yourself to hear these things
What does it taste like? (Are there any tastes in the air? Are you eating anything? Etc) allow yourself to taste these things
Now immerse yourself in all these things at once, what it looks, sounds, feels, smells, and tastes like.

Music - not anything fast paced or loud, try nature sounds, bamboo, or classical

For coping techniques, do things that help you maintain that feeling or actually do make you happy.
Gaming
Go out to eat (if you can financially manage it at the time)
Go for a walk
Etc

I have a love / hate relationship with emotions.

Personally, as of late, I have experienced far too much hopelessness, helplessness, fear, anxiety, depression, frustration, sadness, shame, guilt, anger and loneliness.

The thing I absolutely CANNOT STAND, is when an emotion exists and I cannot understand why. I was told by healthcare professionals to, "Befriend my emotions," the idea being that they held tremendous value and were a pathway to understanding what is going on deep down inside, on the subconscious level... Unmet needs, undiscovered traumas and fears, etc...

The frustration, however, is when there are primary emotions, stacked with secondary emotions and even tertiary emotions, etc....

Such as...

I feel really angry (primary emotion) for no apparent reason... Because I am angry and I cannot figure out why, I become frustrated (secondary emotion). Because I am frustrated and angry and I don't know why, I then get a mixture of (third level) emotions spawning off into all sorts of directions, such as depression, confusion, loneliness, hopelessness, etc....

It is a horrible feeling.

Add this to the fact we with Borderline and Traumas typically have an overly sensitive amygdala and we get increased intensity and possibly duration of emotions...

FUN.

Sometimes I feel so many emotions I cannot even label them all; it is just a cluster of messy emotions.

I also rarely feel positive emotions, which SUCKS. It would be nice to get a break from time to time and remember why it is we put up with the baggage bestowed upon us by all the incompetent and evil human beings who crossed our path... Who scarred us...

Grrr.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

Thank you HD, you described perfectly how I been feeling the past week. I too have BPD n never considered it could be a flare up from my BPD. Thank you both for putting to words what I could not and for helping me understand it.

*hugs*

Definitely anxiety! It has been crippling lately. Although, slowly, I'm finding ways to cope. The worst is when it creates bawl-my-eyes-out kinda session by myself because it is so overwhelming and debilitating.

I am saving this... And hopefully remember to refer to it often until it becomes habit.

Wow, i feel ya there. Not having a reason for a feeling is so unfair. How is it even possible? I feel positive emotions every once and awhile. Just enough to hold the rest of my life to some insane standard. I have this list in my that if I change this and that and be a better mom. Blah blah blah the list goes on forever, I'll finally be happy. Which isn't true but I'll never finish the list either. I'm sick of being miserable.

Anxiety is the worst for me. I'd rather be sad or angry than wanting to crawl out of my skin.

Apathy. It feels like I'm walking dead. No happy, no sad, no nothing. A grayed out mockery of what my life could be, if only I gave a s***. At least when I feel the other things, I feel alive.

Loneliness and being alone.

If emptiness is an emotion, I hate that the most. I'd rather feel crippling sadness than emptiness.

If that isn't an emotion (because it's really the lack thereof) then loneliness. That's the most painful

All emotions can go....

I hate emptiness the most. Although I can't hate it, because I'm empty

Fear, fear, fear.

Anger and frustration are the ones that bug me the most. I hate sadness of course, but anger and frustration I struggle the most with.

Shame is the worst for me. The feeling you're not good enough.

Fear/anxiety- it's hell