In her defense, responding to being called out on her inability to keep promises is a buzz kill and people hate to be called out and defend themselves.

Have you seen her band? Are you sure it's real?

Have you spent real time together with her, like weeks and months of living together? That's when you may see different sides of her personality, when she drops the love bombing and starts devaluing.

I understand what you mean about being addicted to the friction. You get a jolt when she gives and are on pins and needles when she is unclear. Either way, it is very exciting.