I'm so happy for you, splitimage! I remember what a good feeling it was when the lights came back on again. I'm not blowing smoke up your butt when I write that you've been in my thoughts. Whatever method works for you, I know you'll be able to walk the path of sobriety again; you've done it before.
Quote:
Originally Posted by UpDownAround
I do see things differently than you; I would rather address my MH issues together rather than separately. My substance use issues are strongly correlated with mood swings. It is when I am depressed that my substance use becomes a problem. It is when I have an elevated mood that I decide I can handle it and allow myself to start back down the path. I have integrated problems and I think I require an integrated solution.
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I think it's great that you recognize your triggers. There was a time when I used alcohol to self-medicate (now I just use total isolation to get me through my rough spots
). I'm 56-years-old...I went to my first AA meeting when I was 20! Lemme tell you, I have nowhere near 36 years of sobriety, nor was I able to get continuously sober in a few stints of sobriety. Heck! I know several folks who have gotten sober without any program at all!
I guess my point (& I totally hear the wonderful message you're laying down) is that pain & fear were the great motivators for me. I got tired of the suicide attempts when I was blind drunk...got tired of spending too much money or ruining relationships when mania & alcohol-fueled irresponsibility screwed me again & again! I just got tired & I hurt so much. I realized that alcohol was a MAJOR contributing factor...& that when I quit drinking my prescribed meds worked better. In my old age, mania isn't as much of a problem where really problematic behaviors are concerned - it's just "happy time!"
. Depression? It still kicks my butt mightily a few times a year, but now I just isolate rather than drink. I know if I drink again when depressed it will eventually lead to a suicide attempt that will finally be successful (& I've come frightenly close). If you look at statistics, a majority of suicides take place when folks are under the influence of alcohol or something else. So, I guess pain, fear, & self-realization are my greatest tools where sobriety is concerned...but AA is a major factor in my sobriety, too.
I really enjoy bouncing things off you, UpDownAround (& the rest of you, too!). Really thinking about things & hearing about programs & methods that help others, helps ME! Thank you to those of you who contribute to this forum. And splitimage...We've got your back!