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Imagine, the rest of my life will be like this. Why do I bother?
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Well I believe that it won't be like this, because through counseling, reflection, speaking here, time being used constructively, you getting more and more experiences with people other than your parents, making friends, and so on, I believe that you can heal and grow and your life will get better. That is my belief.
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I thought about discussing whether it is actually wise to do a thesis with a counselor or my academic advisor, but so much as a sneeze, my academic advisor thinks I'm suicidal. How can I discuss whether it's wise or not to commit time to doing a thesis, when I have mental health considerations? Right, I can't.
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I would hope that you could discuss that with your counselor, that is a task for a counselor. Your academic advisor (most likely not trained in counseling) might not be the best candidate if those are his/her reactions.
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Similarly, counselors don't help. I have to water down the problem for them, and how can I do that when it's a real problem, and I don't know how to deal with it since I'm confused? It took me two posts to get to the real issue on this thread, so that means it will take two sessions with a therapist--enough time for them to get exasperated and drop me. "You don't want to get better.../why are you even here?" I'm not sure I can deal with this.
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Well I am sorry if this is how counselors react where you are. From what you said, it sounds to me as though the process of putting your thoughts together--on paper/screen or in spoken words--helps you think things through. That is a perfectly reasonable thing for a counselor to be expected to help you with. It may or may not take two sessions. But even if it takes two or more, I would be very disappointed if they gave you the invalidating comment you stated. A good counselor would not say that...but it sounds like you have experience of counselors saying that to you. Did they actually say that to you at college? I'm so sorry if they did. Perhaps you could try a different counselor in that event.