To me, you say [write] a lot of things that are fairly common and often point to someone's just not wanting to be LGBT vs actually
not being LGBT, better known as denial techniques and/or insecurity.
Examples:
Quote:
|
When I was 12-14 I could literally only watch lesbian porn bcuz I didnt want to see a guy in straight porn.
|
Most straight guys don't have this issue. The fact that you do is like "he doth protest too much" as opposed to "evidence" that you're straight. In other words, a denial technique and insecurity.
Quote:
|
This has happened for the past year I\'m really confused about it because when i go out in public for school or work I\'ve never in my life checked out another guy, never had like a crush on a guy. Most of the time I can\'t even tell if a guy is good looking most of the time. But when recently during this year I\'ve watched gay porn and I noticed cum faster however most of the time I can\'t bear the sight of two guys kissing.
|
And there are other examples in what you wrote, but let me move on after I say that showing these examples are for this reason only: I'm not saying they make you bisexual; I'm saying they mean nothing as far as saying you're straight, and that they seem to point more to insecurity about your orientation than anything else. Guys who are secure in being straight are not bothered about guys being in the porn they watch, aren't insisting they can't tell when other guys are good-looking and aren't too bothered about seeing two guys kissing. The question is...why are you so insecure about this stuff? Could very well be because you're bi and don't want to admit it to yourself, but that's for you to figure out--we don't know.
On to porn...
Porn is another one of those things that doesn't have to mean anything. Listen, I'm not only a lesbian (and I can tell when guys are good-looking, and also have no problem telling one that he is), but I am fairly sure I am 100% lesbian...and that doesn't seem to be a popular thing to say, no one wants to accept some people are 100% any sexual orientation nowadays, it seems. But that's how I feel today; that's not always how I thought. The older you get and the more experiences you have, the more it becomes clear whatever your orientation actually is. Anyways. So, I know that now. And guess what?
I watch all kinds of porn. I like many different kinds. And most of the kinds involve a man and a woman, not two women.
Does that mean I want to be with a man in "real life"? Absolutely not. It's not like I'm imagining myself in the porn I watch, because I'm not. But, hey, good sex is good sex, and I like to watch good sex. Besides...an inordinate amount of lesbian porn is made
by men for men, which means the majority of real lesbians can't stand it because it sucks
for/to us as real lesbians. It's hetero male fantasy garbage, which is not what we're looking for.
Finally...I touched on this a little, but you're 19. At that age, it makes sense to not 100% know what your orientation is because you don't have the life experiences, the dating experiences, the sexual experiences and/or whatever else you need to really answer this question. To me, it's far more abnormal for middle schoolers and high schoolers to be running around talking about they're gay unequivocally when they haven't done/experienced jackcrap. At 19, I didn't know wth my orientation was for sure, so I have a hard time believing a 13-yr old does. It's hard to be patient and not have the answer right now, but you're perfectly fine.