Quote:
Originally Posted by yagr
Okay, probably as close to a Russian expert here - yeah, I know, I'm on the internet so I can say anything, but I've got previous posts on this site where I've responded to people whose location is 'russia' in transliterated Cyrillic, and talked about the time I spent in the former Soviet Union so here goes:
From what you have said, she's likely real and telling the truth about her age, appearance and her interest in you. It's very common over there and Russians very often marry for convenience and security. I realize that Russia isn't communist any longer, but it is embedded in the fabric of society. A communist marriage is not the lovey dovey concept of marriage we have in the West. Marxists sought to destroy the traditional family and succeeded wildly.
Because I speak Russian and am familiar with the customs and have fallen for some of the traditional foods, I end up doing some shopping at the Russian market and know probably every Russian-American in my city - there's a lot. Here's what happens: The girl snags an American guy. Usually he's older, but Russians typically have a much wider age gap between husbands and wives than the United States and Europe, with the exception of France perhaps.
So the girl comes to America wide eyed and truly ready to settle down with this awesome guy. But then, as she begins to assimilate into the culture, the oddness of their relationship starts to hit her. The guys who are hitting on her are young, cute, fun - and not at all like the (sorry Russian guys) philandering, drunk, abusive guys they have to choose from back home. Ask any Russian what the divorce rate is in Russian and they will likely tell you that everyone's divorced in Russia. Indeed, they have a higher divorce rate than the US has ever had in it's history. So marriage - or commitment, isn't highly valued in a Russian marriage.
So, I know close to a hundred Russian girls who came to this country to be with a guy. I know two who have been with that guy for over two years - and those guys are close to terminal. Every other one has moved on to greener pastures. I'll say it again though, typically and in my experience, the girls are sincere - now, but it'll change.
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Wise words . Are you listening Mac. I've seen several documentaries about US/UK/AUS men who pursue romantic attachments with Russian women, either from a distance or on an organised trip. I thought it was sad and a little pathetic on both sides. The girls, some pretty young, and your age difference isn't unusual, were paraded in front of these middle-aged , and even older men some of whom came across as desperate and a bit seedy. It was all a bit grubby and shabby. I'm not saying that's you Mac. Not at all. I'm sure you're charming, have a lot to give and would treat a women well.
Having said that your'e in a slightly different position. You have got to know her a bit and she you. i'm assuming she speaks some English. Russian culture IS different. The age gap isn't such a big deal. Russian women are fed up with feckless, drunken, violent, out of work Russian men and if they can catch a western man who'll look after them then they will. Whether it'll last and whether you are prepared to spend the money ( and i'm sure she'll expect it) , emotional energy, time, and eventual disappointment that will probably happen Mac only you can know.
You like travelling. Russia would be an interesting country to visit. Why not meet her, have a holiday, spend some time after on skype, don't rush it and see how things look in 6 months time.
If when you meet 'she ' turns out to be a bearded 6 foot 3 inch ex KGB officer who promises ' we have good time at my dacha' don't get into his blacked out beamer, politely decline and continue your holiday.