Found a new apartment and just put in my application.

It's the best of the lot but costs more than my current place and is much smaller and well, generally sucks compared to where I am now (a lot less light etc).

I really don't want to move but I don't know how I can continue to stay here either while feeling like I can't walk around freely without worrying that I'll bump into certain people.

And, current T tonight -- who I am sure will do her best to convince me that it's the empowering thing to do and so on. At the last session, she tried telling me that she couldn't do either what I was considering doing -- sticking around till my lease ends. I kinda wanted to tell her that there are lots of things I can do, that she can't and vice versa. So, that's kind of a pointless path to go down.

I'm exhausted but trying not to think about it all -- everything just sucks all around but I also know I'm kvetching needlessly when I have the means to actually up and move rather than continue feeling uneasy all the time (a luxury, I know, few have).

On the other hand, it is a lovely day here.