Today I'm looking at the phrase "I can't." I try to avoid it as a catch all phrase. Instead I'm digging into why "I can't".

I can't get out of bed = ok I am physically capable of getting out of bed, so I CAN! don't want to get out of bed..... Why? I'm still tired? Did I go to bed on time? Am I depressed...if so what am I going to do about that? Self care, talk to T, adjust meds? Or maybe I just don't wanna get out of bed. I'm retired, bed is comfy....I don't have to.

I can't talk to a sister or friend about a hurtful thing they said in Facebook = Yes I can. I have a mouth, a phone and am capable of speech. Am i afraid? If so why? They might get mad at me? Well the situation is already bad. People get mad..... But I don't like it when people are made at me....why? Do I think I need the approval of others to be able to function? Does this take me back to a time where I felt helpless and needed to "get along with everyone" to survive?

I can't handle it when people yell at me = Yes I can. I may not handle it well and turn into a quivering puddle of goo, but I don't die. If I do something to protect myself it will only get worse? Yes it might, but I need to take care of myself. Depending on the situation I may leave the room, find a different job. Tell them that I will not stand by and be verbally abused, call the police......lot of options out there.

So that's my adventure down the rabbit hole world of "I can't"