I don't talk very often. I have nothing to say. It really really bothers me how silent I am. (It makes me not want to live.) That is until I flip out. Today I screamed at my son to "shut the **** up and do his work" Now he was trying to get out of work that he's way behind in but it really didn't deserve that response and I'm doing that a lot. I'm starting to think I'm just naturally a *****. I don't want to be medicated more. Hell I blame the zyprexa for me being almost mute. I'm going from 0-100 fast. It's not just with my son it's everyone. The world feels too real and I don't know how to make it stop. I want to scream and cry at the same time. That said I can't stay alone because I think someones going to break in and kill me (the usual for me). I want to hurt myself so bad but I wont. I just really want to cry but my body wont let me.
I don't know what I'm asking I don't see T for another week but honestly she's not a very good T.