I can understand how you feel. I was out of state visiting family when my father was diagnosed with uncurable cancer and hospitalized with a blood clot. He told my family not to tell me because he didn't want to ruin my visit to the family.To wait until I came home. I knew instinctively something was wrong when no one was answering their phones for one week. I came home to the devestating news. We lost him a few months later. Though I understood why he requested this it was very hard.

Stay strong. Your family and friends are just trying to soften the blow even if it is done in the wrong way.