memories...
this is a topic that i have wanted to talk about for a long time but haven't been able to find anyone i can talk to about it with because no one i have encountered experiences the same thing with memories as i do...

i don't have memories... i have flashbacks, of course.. of certain things...
but of memory... my memory is very very poor.. i have very poor memory recall on a daily basis... weekly, monthly, yearly...

i am simply existing watching the waters of time flow over me as nothing sticks besides the bumpy boulders creating rapids which throws up the flashbacks from times to times... thats not to say that i forget everything, i do have some recall and am able to function, but its just really poor .. i've just become really good at being able to compensate i think...

i wish that i knew what was wrong with my memory

to control memories?
meditation may be a good exercise to practice...
its good for many things...