View Single Post
 
Old Oct 09, 2017, 12:24 AM
seesaw's Avatar
seesaw seesaw is offline
Human
 
Member Since: Apr 2014
Location: Home
Posts: 8,406
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoodVibrations101 View Post
I am a college admissions essay editor on a part-time basis. I tend to do a lot of rewriting and editing when I help students with their college admissions essays because, honestly, some of the students write in vague, self-promoting, cliched ways that don't show strong writing skills and make them come off as self-promoting careerists who have been plotting their Harvard admission since they were 2 years old.

I am working with one girl now, and she is intelligent and energetic, but she is not so intelligent that she develops her ideas in enough depth or provides concrete details. And she repeatedly talks about her "passion" for this and her "passion" for that without explaining why she's passionate, or showing evidence of her passion. So I rewrote a good part of her essay using her facts and her basic ideas but the wording and deeper development and deeper analysis came from me.

So she changed a good part of it back to her original version, which is wordy, repetitive, superficial, self-promoting, undeveloped, etc. I am glad she wants her voice to come through, but at the same time, she is being thin-skinned and should learn from somone who is a better writer and just improive her writing skills. Rejecting legitimate criticism is not a recipe for skill improvement.

Should I stop working with this girl? I need the money, and, honestly, she is creating work for me by creating new writing problems for me to solve. Still, it is annoying having a high school student reject my professional writing advice just because her feelings are hurt.
Hey Good Vibrations,

I totally feel your pain. I have been on both sides of this. The thing is, it's probably exactly as you said, the student feels her voice is being lost. Have you expressed to her why you made those edits to her first draft? I find a lot of the time when making edits or suggesting edits, that explaining what you are going for or how you feel it's reading helps the student find their own way to edit it that accomplishes your goal and still maintains your voice.

Having been on the side of the student, I would say that a lot of times I felt like edits from my editor went too far or changed the content, and so I would talk to her about what she was trying to accomplish with her edits and how I felt it changed my intent, and together we came up with solutions that made it stronger for both of us. But if she's not willing to take any direction, I would just make a record that you had made numerous suggestions that she did not take. If she doesn't get into college with that essay, it's her own fault for not taking your advice. But if she's as intelligent as you say, she should be able to understand your POV and how you are trying to help make it stronger.

I don't think you come across as having contempt for your students. You just sound frustrated with this one student because you want her to do well, and she isn't heeding your sage advice. I hope you don't feel like you have to leave this forum because of one person's opinion. There are lots of opinions here on PC and some may or may not be helpful.

Keep your chin up.

Seesaw
__________________


What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...