Just to add a perhaps somewhat different perspective: I'm good at math, I enjoy it a lot and I also teach it. And during my years I've seen many students start from something similar to what you're describing. I've had students who, when they first came to me, was this close to bursting into tears from frustration when I was explaining something. But in the end, I've seen many of them punch through it, not only to the point where they passed the exam but also started finding the subject itself kind of interesting. So yes, it's possible to do. But I'll also tell you this:

On the one hand, work hard and demand discipline from yourself. Math is a difficult subject and it takes considerable effort to build skill in it. But also, don't forget to be kind to yourself. It's not your imagination and it's not a personal shortcoming on your behalf - it is a difficult subject. Even for me, a supposed natural, a lot of the time when I'm studying is spent in a state of perplexed confusion and having to read/practice the same stuff several times.

Don't beat yourself up for having to repeat the same thing again and again. Don't hesitate to spend some time every day to go back and start again at an earlier chapter. As long as you work at it and do your honest best, you NEVER need to feel ashamed when asking questions. Personally, I like to point out (especially for first year students) that I'm impressed by the courage of students who pipe up to ask questions in front of the class.

You're not worthless for having troubles in your math studies. You're brave for taking it on despite your apprehension and I salute you for doing so. Keep at it and just know that what you're doing is taking part in a grand adventure of thought, exploration and discovery that humans have spent thousands of years developing. It's a lot work, but it's well worth the effort.