(Not really triggering but talking about alcohol might be a triggering thing for some idk it's a liquid anyways like water.. sorry I should stop rambling.. anyways.. I would appreciate if you read the trigger because I love you and actually you know what.. I'll put this in a trigger too and make a second one. This paragraph is also comedy too to make you laugh <3 But the second trigger is more serious.

If I'm on psychosis medication, and alcohol doesn't seem to give me psychosis sometimes because I only drank 3 beers, it most importantly lessens my anxiety to a functional level because lately I've been dealing with and thinking about everything going black when I die and it makes me sad.

So I want to talk to my mom about buying a bottle of Captain Morgan to drink maybe a shot or two with coke a day. The benefit is that I'll stop smoking cigarettes because the anxiety is mostly what makes me suicidal.

I'm scared because things that I talk about are shone against and I want everyone to live in a world full of love and acceptance.

It's not fair. It's also not fair that I'm on meds and can't drink and that benzos will just give me tolerance..

I'm 21 and just want to have a few drinks and play xbox before I go to college. I don't party and go out of control or anything. I'm not doing drugs.
My mom should hear me out.

Peace my lovely's <3