Roll Call CIV (104)

newtus · Oct 16, 2017, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

Well, it's dominated by dead white men. Philosophy in western civilization is different than anywhere else. It's more critical, less accepting of taking things for granted. There are recent black philosophers who are prominent such as Cornel West.

Yes im aware of him. Need to read his stuff. W.E.B. DuBois too

Angelique67 · Oct 16, 2017, 08:37 PM

Thomas Sowell, also. I've been meaning to read him too.

Desoxyn · Oct 16, 2017, 08:56 PM

So apparently I need a vice. I really do there's no other way around it. I've been having multiple vices for years now and I stopped them.

But cigarettes are my vice now. But I ran out.

Lightly to possibly triggering serious question about mental illness and drinking..

Possible trigger:

(Not really triggering but talking about alcohol might be a triggering thing for some idk it's a liquid anyways like water.. sorry I should stop rambling.. anyways.. I would appreciate if you read the trigger because I love you and actually you know what.. I'll put this in a trigger too and make a second one. This paragraph is also comedy too to make you laugh <3 But the second trigger is more serious.

Possible trigger:

If I'm on psychosis medication, and alcohol doesn't seem to give me psychosis sometimes because I only drank 3 beers, it most importantly lessens my anxiety to a functional level because lately I've been dealing with and thinking about everything going black when I die and it makes me sad.

So I want to talk to my mom about buying a bottle of Captain Morgan to drink maybe a shot or two with coke a day. The benefit is that I'll stop smoking cigarettes because the anxiety is mostly what makes me suicidal.

I'm scared because things that I talk about are shone against and I want everyone to live in a world full of love and acceptance.

It's not fair. It's also not fair that I'm on meds and can't drink and that benzos will just give me tolerance..

I'm 21 and just want to have a few drinks and play xbox before I go to college. I don't party and go out of control or anything. I'm not doing drugs.
My mom should hear me out.

Peace my lovely's <3

Sometimes psychotic · Oct 16, 2017, 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

So apparently I need a vice. I really do there's no other way around it. I've been having multiple vices for years now and I stopped them.

But cigarettes are my vice now. But I ran out.

Lightly to possibly triggering serious question about mental illness and drinking..

Possible trigger:

(Not really triggering but talking about alcohol might be a triggering thing for some idk it's a liquid anyways like water.. sorry I should stop rambling.. anyways.. I would appreciate if you read the trigger because I love you and actually you know what.. I'll put this in a trigger too and make a second one. This paragraph is also comedy too to make you laugh <3 But the second trigger is more serious.

Possible trigger:

If I'm on psychosis medication, and alcohol doesn't seem to give me psychosis sometimes because I only drank 3 beers, it most importantly lessens my anxiety to a functional level because lately I've been dealing with and thinking about everything going black when I die and it makes me sad.

So I want to talk to my mom about buying a bottle of Captain Morgan to drink maybe a shot or two with coke a day. The benefit is that I'll stop smoking cigarettes because the anxiety is mostly what makes me suicidal.

I'm scared because things that I talk about are shone against and I want everyone to live in a world full of love and acceptance.

It's not fair. It's also not fair that I'm on meds and can't drink and that benzos will just give me tolerance..

I'm 21 and just want to have a few drinks and play xbox before I go to college. I don't party and go out of control or anything. I'm not doing drugs.
My mom should hear me out.

Peace my lovely's <3

Alcohol will just build tolerance too....

Desoxyn · Oct 16, 2017, 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Alcohol will just build tolerance too....

Then maybe it's not a good idea. That sucks.

I am cursed with this dilemma.

I feel like I just go into a hole while knowing the consequences because I don't know what to do because I have the general delusion that I am right.

It's all my fault.

Edit: Then I do it and get hurt in the end with no control.

The psychology of this with insight is worse than having no insight.

Desoxyn · Oct 16, 2017, 09:11 PM

I should tell my psychologist about everything and the insight thing. Formulate it into better words too.

I'm intelligent he says. I just do stupid things.

Angelique67 · Oct 16, 2017, 09:30 PM

I think the hard boiled egg I just ate might have been just a little spoiled. :/

Oct 16, 2017, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

After watching 6 episodes of Dear White People, i feel SO WOKE.

They turned Dear White People into a show?!
I didn't like the movie, but a show sounds good!

Gr3tta_0 · Oct 16, 2017, 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

Wow. My doctor is at her wits end and she thinks ECT as a last resort. I posted my ECT question in the depression thread to see if it doesn't just blunt emotions, but elevates them to bring back the zest of life. But the fact of the matter is is that I don't have insurance and this is the worst time of year for me to fork over money for anything since from now on it's survival money for me.

She is also running a base metabolism test and a vitamin D test on me too because I have a pooch that never left from the days of lithium.

She is also calling a colleague of hers to get in contact with me and make an appoiuntment because he might be a specialist in the field who might know more about anhedonia.

God I wish I had health insurance. This is ******** that my work doesn't offer it, and furthermore, that Obamacare didn't fix it when he had the numbers in congress and the senate. The trades people are the one's that suffer under Obama care.

Im very sorry it went this way. I personally think ECT is horrible, and i wouldn't want anyone to do it. (Based on accounts from people i know irl who have experienced it, not myself)
The health insurance situation is awful. I pay what i feel is a very large amount for insurance through my employer, and it does not cover mental health care. In my state it doesn't have to. It also specifically does not cover any costs incurred from mental health related medical expenses, such as for self harm.
I hope the specialist mentioned to you might offer some other suggestions.

Erti · Oct 17, 2017, 12:37 AM

lab work show's I'm no longer pre-diabetic. Woohoo

...

newtus · Oct 17, 2017, 01:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kori Anders

They turned Dear White People into a show?!

I didn't like the movie, but a show sounds good!

The show is awesome! Its on netflix!

Loial · Oct 17, 2017, 05:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

I was playing Grand Theft Auto 5 all night.

Good game. Nostalgia.

Hehe

Great game indeed. I've not played it in ages. Played it through twice though.

Loial · Oct 17, 2017, 05:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Sorry not to respond a little earlier, busy day at work.....

Yes that whole Ophelia thing is odd....

Glad you're feeling ok and experiencing enjoyment .....but this college thing....is it not the right time? Would it help to live closer to your family, you seem to do better around them. Can you start a self paced study to get the same certification? Here you can just take the a+ test or whatever cert after reading the books and self study.

Yes I think it's just a case of it's not the right time with college. It's just too much for me right now. I think my mood has been a bit off since I went to hospital. The summer was supposed to be time for me to get on top of things but it never worked out that way. I'm hoping maybe I could go back next year but I seriously hope I don't have to pay the full tuition fees because that'll mean this year was a complete disaster.

It's not really feasible for me to move closer to family. It does help but I think it puts my problems on hold short term... things would creep back eventually anyway.

It's not a certification I'm studying for at college but a qualification, so no other way to do it. I really think I'd need a higher qualification than what I have to get into tech support. I don't really know though, maybe the A+ would be enough.

Erti · Oct 17, 2017, 05:52 AM

only reason I played grand theft auto is because I can kill people in the streets... steal cars... crash the cars... pickup prostitutes. and run from the popo

Blue_Bird · Oct 17, 2017, 07:15 AM

Hey guys, at my program. I bought a mini pumpkin yesterday, love it! Got a lot of fruits and vegetables plus a thing of baileys pumpkin spice creamer which is necessary obviously. 7 more months exactly of RCIA. And I'll be Catholic officially, happy about that. I'm proud of myself for getting through some really tough times lately, and without klonopin! I'm not addicted or anything I just try to rarely take it unless I absolutely have to and I've been able to cope different ways like by praying and stuff. Going to use it before my dentist appointment Friday.

ofthevalley · Oct 17, 2017, 07:54 AM

Good morning. Hope everyone has a good day.

ofthevalley · Oct 17, 2017, 08:01 AM

Wish I could dismiss my kids from school. I'm feeling off today. I don't think I've been getting enough calories with the Latuda. I have to try to do better.

cogladaid · Oct 17, 2017, 08:03 AM

I see the psychiatrist today. This afternoon. Apparently I have to fill out papers beforehand and then I see the psychiatrist. Maybe fill out forms describing my symptoms? Who knows. Appointment is supposed to be an hour and a half long. I don’t know if they’ll want to see me again in a month or what I’m just nervous about it all.

I’m also trying to figure out how I feel. I’m eating better for sure but I’m still not 100% in that regard. I feel this lingering paranoia and delusional thinking in the background waiting to come forward. Listening to music is just making me go closer. Like I can almost hear messages in the music but they’re kind of blocked.

Do I feel depressed do I feel stable do I feel hypomanic I don’t know I’m so confused. So confused.

newtus · Oct 17, 2017, 08:28 AM

Morning

Omgggg its sooo cold its in the 40’s

newtus · Oct 17, 2017, 08:35 AM

Im freezing

Findingreason · Oct 17, 2017, 08:49 AM

Good afternoon/morning everyone. How are things going?

Hugs to Loial, I'm sorry things with school aren't working out as planned.

I'm okay. Stressed. At least I'm getting some stuff done. Arranged a new payment date for my hospital bill, went to the store, and continuing to calculate expenses. It's very difficult and slow going for my brain to process all this...But I have no choice but to do it. I have to be ready soon for this trip. It's fast approaching.

newtus · Oct 17, 2017, 08:50 AM

Anyone else freezing? I put my little heater on 89 and its not doing it

12AM · Oct 17, 2017, 08:58 AM

I went to the bank today. Booked something like Uber but not Uber to go there. I told the driver to wait but he kept texting me "are you ready?" every 3 seconds though I only asked him to wait less than 5 mins, geez. I wanted to give him 1 star ⭐️ but I pitied him