I don't have a ton of experience to share, but I wanted to say good for you for trying to figure this out now! I was raised by an alcoholic parent and don't recommend it. So getting in front of the problem now will help your whole family.

Since it sounds like you recognize that you drink to curb anxiety, it might be helpful to try substituting better coping mechanisms. My T recommended a hobby with repetitive hand motions (like knitting or playing the guitar) to soothe anxiety. I picked up knitting out of desperation and found that it actually works. I have other go-to things to work for me too, like brisk walks with music and petting my dog, but I think the point is to see what works for you. Same thing for spending time with H. Instead of focusing on *not* drinking, maybe try making fun plans to do something new that just happens to not involve alcohol (driving somewhere scenic, visiting a weird museum or shop you haven't been to, trying out a Groupon for something random, etc.). Depending on your level of usage, you might be able to deal with this by moderating your drinking and then also dealing with the underlying psychological issues.