I'm in my forties too. I was quite enjoying being older. My writing was going well... I finally sort of understood how to do it. Then everything just crashed.

My female best friend died of an epileptic seizure about a year and a half ago, very unexpected, and I have been crazy ever since.

I've never even heard of kratom tea. I will look it up, thanks.

I'm glad you feel you've moved away a little from the edge.