If your friend knows about your issues, they'll probably understand, and not be angry.
At the same time, if you've made it too hard, they might prefer to find a friend who doesn't have a low opinion of them.
You seem to be very focused on your own needs, but not putting yourself in their shoes. Honesty is essential in friendships. But if your friend is a decent and sensitive person, you shouldn't be hurting their feelings.
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