Hello.

I’m not quite sure how it’s managed to get this bad I have been stable for a long time (years). But over the past few months I’ve been walking around with a secret realisation that I do not want to be here anymore.

I’m really, really struggling to find a reason to keep living. I have a beautiful daughter and a great partner. But somethings had stripped the meaning out of my life. I’m a logical person, so usually I can think to myself ‘okay, you are ill and this is not real, it will pass...’ but my belief systems have seemed to change. I can’t see the point?

I’m trying to do and keep busy, but there’s Nothing meaning to it all, like I’m in autopilot. I have good moments some times where I enjoy myself, but they seem more like distractions.

The thing is, I know that I need to take action and tell someone, but I can’t seem to bring myself to do it. I don’t see the point?

I’m walking a thin line right now. I felt it as soon as I woke up this morning.