Wow Crypts. A lot going on here. I’ll drop my 2 cents of how I see it, maybe a fresh perspective, & you can take or leave what you need.

I knowing returning texts for some people is like instant gratification. I’m not a big fan of it. It sounds like you set some boundaries here with this person, that you turn the phones off so u can enjoy being home. Stand by this boundary; it’s good.
You’re friend stating that you have someone to spend the holiday with & they don’t.....is very passive aggressive.
FB...I’m no help there. I’m not on it & ignorance is bliss is awesome. Now there’s many that get angry with me bec I’m not on bec I have a big family....but I always tell them...how did we all survive pre 2004!

Ziplock situation. You got frustrated. I’m sure you felt it coming on? In your body? Can you take a minute to just count...or breathe. Just a minute or 2.
I used to interrupt my H a great deal I’ve noticed & had it pointed out to me...many times. I hate that I do it. I try to be patient really & im working on it, but I think I interrupt bec I feel that I wanto be heard & if I wait I won’t get that chance. My opinion will not be asked for by the time it’s my turn. But I do understand that my Husband hates it bec he feels like I’m not listening to him. I’m not sure if this makes sense. I feel it comes down to how we learn the art of communicating as children & how we learned it. For me my parents yelled at each other a great deal of the time & that’s how they heard each other.

But for him to use a reply of I wish I were dead, takes all the actual conversation out of the room, sucks it into a vacuum & now he controls it. Again I see this as very passive aggressive.
So you said “if you don’t love me, you shouldn’t have married me..” where does that leave the rest of the conversation?
I think people react to us yes, but also our body language, our word selection, our tone of voice, a real combination of many things.
I think people have highly yet simple structured thinking patterns & any change to that can cause chaos in their system.
I see that a great deal.
Are you feeling any better???