I’m having the same struggle. I’ve been depressed since early October to varying degrees. Christmas is hitting me hard this year. I keep feeling like I’m not doing the things I “should” because it’s such a struggle just to get through the day. My mind is absolute mush; I can’t think of anything at all to get anyone. I don’t have much money to get it with. The thought that I’m going to have to arrange a breakfast for my in laws makes me want to cry right now. That I’ll have to make my traditional fudge for my mother in law, that I have to cook a quiche or even just go and grab bagels. And the cleaning; don’t start me on the cleaning. I clean a room one day and it’s a wreck by the evening.

I just really wish my husband was here to help me with all this. It’s so much stress and the depression is sucking any joy I might have had right out of it. I’m going in and out of suicidal thoughts and self harm thoughts and actions. I’m just trying not to be hospitalized again.

So I’m sorry I don’t have any solutions but I wanted to commiserate with you. You ar not alone!