Getting Through the Holidays

What helps you keep your spirits up when you are struggling with depression around this time? Although I like aspects of the holidays, such as the pretty decorations and scented candles, there's a lot that makes me emotional.
I feel it brings up a lot of losses both very recent and past that I've experienced. It's been a hard year. Plus, things with family have been rather tumultuous and not the way they used to be, although I am hoping for things to go smoothly with a select few family members.

Plus, I've been cycling between mixed mania and depression. My anxiety is very high, and that is a big problem. New Year's is sometimes worse than Christmas, for some reason. It forces me to think about how I am supposed to be celebrating and excited for a full new year, but it just makes me reflect on all the challenges. Also, I have not been intentionally standoffish towards people, but I am more withdrawn than usual. I don't want to be. I even try to "pretend", but it is forced and it doesn't fool everyone. Someone pointed out the other day that I "seem nervous" when I was trying to play it cool, and it made me feel even worse, because I am trying so hard to keep it together.

So feel free to post anything at all that helps through the holidays, or if you want to share your own experiences. Thanks

I’m having the same struggle. I’ve been depressed since early October to varying degrees. Christmas is hitting me hard this year. I keep feeling like I’m not doing the things I “should” because it’s such a struggle just to get through the day. My mind is absolute mush; I can’t think of anything at all to get anyone. I don’t have much money to get it with. The thought that I’m going to have to arrange a breakfast for my in laws makes me want to cry right now. That I’ll have to make my traditional fudge for my mother in law, that I have to cook a quiche or even just go and grab bagels. And the cleaning; don’t start me on the cleaning. I clean a room one day and it’s a wreck by the evening.

I just really wish my husband was here to help me with all this. It’s so much stress and the depression is sucking any joy I might have had right out of it. I’m going in and out of suicidal thoughts and self harm thoughts and actions. I’m just trying not to be hospitalized again.

So I’m sorry I don’t have any solutions but I wanted to commiserate with you. You ar not alone!

Thank you for sharing. Your reply does help. Any responses from people who can relate helps me feel less alone, especially during a time when there's this pressure to feel "happy." I hate cleaning. Your post did remind me though that making cookies is something that gives me a little bit of comfort that I need and is tradition, so even though my motivation is lacking, I do like my sweets. I can't eat too much though.

. I notice that I don't want to make the effort to get dressed, even if I have to be somewhere important. Being bombarded with malls and Christmas music is making me very agitated, so I've just avoided places entirely, but there's a lot to do.

I'm already missing sleep cuz I know Christmas Is fast approaching. Too many family members, too many gifts to buy. I'm excited when Christmas finally arrives but the days leading up to it stresses me out.

Although I am trying, I am truly not in a holiday mood. I'd rather skip the holidays, in truth. Luckily, my family keeps things simple -- no gifts and we take the money we would have spent and make a family donation to a charity.

Holidays are reminders of the many now "missing," those no longer with us. I try to be grateful for those still Present.

Socially, many tell me I don't visit like I used to -- I am too quiet. I have a lot of incessant "talkers" around me and it's difficult to get a (thoughtful) word in edgewise. If I want to be nonsensical, there's plenty of room for that.

I am always relieved when the holidays are over.

Great topic, by the way.


WC

Christmas is always hard for me I lost my dad 20 years ago on the 10th.. I have a love hate relationship with Xmas .

What do I do ? mostly just suck it up , Try to play along and if it doesnt fool everyone them so be it.

My anxiety goes sky high and thats I think the toughest thing, I dunno ..

My advice? Do what you can and muddle through .. Not much of a other choice I guess.

Holidays can suck big time for almost every Bipolar I know, Im sorry

I like Christmas. I love the traditions my family has and everything but I have to admit I do struggle during this time. It`s difficult to get things done when you are exhausted most of the time. But like I said before I love our traditions like baking cookies and opening our presents on Christmas Eve. It`s hard sometimes though to put on that happy face when your feeling so lost and lonely.

I struggle with the commercial expectations and stress of Christmas. On a special note, a family member was born Christmas Day and that is a precious gift, just a reminder of the love and hope of the season.
I do find I lose a lot of sleep and wind up in a fog. This year I’m trying very hard to simplify things. Less about the gift giving and more about family time.
I hope we all make it through to 2018 unscathed!

Usually I have at least some happiness during Hanukkah, but tonight it was all I can do to light the candles. =( This time of year really messes with me any way because the winter always makes me more depressed.

Exactly this. You have friends here at PC to talk to. You are not alone in your feelings.

Also, if you can’t handle something, give yourself permission to just not do it or go and give yourself permission to leave.

The other thing I find helpful is to think about the pain as coming in waves. When it’s really bad, I find it hard to think. But try to remember that pain comes in waves, and that you will come down from those painful peaks. That helps me a lot. When you’re in it, it can be scary when you can’t see that it will ebb and flow.

Some find comfort in doing symbolic things. I don’t really, but I like writing memories. My daughter likes art therapy.

I just stick to parts of christmas I like and don't overstress myself

example: because I spend it alone, I don't feel the need to go out the way with decorations (I have some nice ones, but that's not the point)

same with a big turkey I'm not going to cook a big massive turkey when it's only going to be me eating it.

I'll just watch muppet's christmas carol with a tin of chocolate. that's good enough for me. I have no one to buy me gifts, and I've all ready got my gift (I ordered it myself), it's a 25 cd set of the bradshaws

why overdo it

it's just a day in the end. like any other

and it's all a waste of time

all that planning for a few hours

no... I don't need that in my life

Thank you. It is helpful to think about pain coming in waves. Some points during the day are better than others. It's just that when it is bad, it is really, really bad. Sometimes symbolic things help me. I guess it's just a matter of finding the energy to take action or really identify something I want to do. I guess I'll just have to go with the flow and accept that this is an especially challenging time, but there's no choice but to make the best of it.

I might sound more positive right now, but this mindset can change quickly, so I'll probably try to post here a lot.

I love a muppet's Christmas Carol and some chocolate. I do miss how it was a tradition to watch that every Christmas with my ex fiance, so I am afraid certain things like this will trigger. It's as if the things that make me happy are associated with things that make me sad. Maybe if I had someone else to watch it with, then that would be a good thing. I'm kind of alone though. There's some other Christmas movies I can think of that I like as well. Sometimes I get a little emotional when watching stuff lately, but it might still be worth it.

The holidays are a challenge to me. I have a lot of anxiety during this time.
WE drive 2 days to Indy spend a couple of days there before we have christmas eve dinner with hubbys mom and brother. Then head up north to my folks house for christmas day. hubby will hitch a ride from one of my sisters back to indy and I will stay there for 4 more days and then drive back to his moms house before new years eve.
There will be a chaos mess at his moms house and I get very stressed out there. So I gave myself permission to stay at my folks house.

Jeff can deal with the chaos at his moms.
She would rather spend time with jeff alone I believe. I think she thinks I interfere, try to boss her around. I wish she would move to an assisted living situation but she refuses. She is very frail and elderly and has fallen once. Some how she still drives and has recently been hospitalized and rehab for a couple of weeks and now uses a walker. I spoke with her other son and asked him about laundry. She refuses to use a laundry service or have an aide come to help her. She doesn't want him to do her laundry either. She can't go in the basement where her washer and dryer are...so who is going to do her laundry?????
I love her and she is very stubborn.

I am going to try to not drink over the holidays...must come up with an action plan. I could drink O'douls(non alcoholic beer) but why drink extra calories when I could just make tea? and use stevia to sweeten???
Save money and something warm to drink at my parents chilly house.
I used to have to run hot water over my feet to warm them up before going to bed.

I have a few more christmas cards to send and need to get my mother something else.
anyway.
The holidays are hard.
bizi

This holiday season has been more stressful than usual. Medical appointments, physical therapy, and meds have been the norm. I'm hoping that I'll have enough energy to do the cooking Christmas Eve and spend time on Christmas day with my daughter's boyfriend's parents. I've been getting up early due to med side effects but I can't take more meds or else my sleep apnea gets worse. I haven't had this before and it's frustrating.

Doing okay this year. At least I am out of bed. I have three adult kids and a wonderful husband so I try to fake happiness as best I can. I have purchased almost all gifts and a good friend came over yesterday and helped me wrap everything. This was such kindness as wrapping overwhelms me.
Have some sadness and a lot of stress this year as my youngest is dealing with the fallout from a DUI (pot). Not good to get involved with the court system. But I am determined not to let his problems pull me down. I don't need it.

I am having a hard time this Christmas season. I know it's because I've had such a rough year, which has been pretty bad in the past few months when I had such a bad manic episode, then severe depression, then a hospital stay right before Thanksgiving. After my hospitalization, I just lost all Christmas interest. We have 2 kids, but not a lot of money to buy them much this Christmas, although I think we have come up with some creative ideas for them. We have to visit my in-laws for several days starting Christmas Eve, and I really wish I could stay at home. There are so many people there, I don't feel like being around anyone at all. But I have to put on a smiling face for my kids and my family.

Kids should bring out the Christmas spirit, but we just put up our tree this week, the kids just decorated it yesterday, and I'm still not in the mood. . We're not giving them any real toys this year (they are 8 and 10) but putting together "girly" kits for them from Dollar Tree stuff: their own baking pans and mixes and such since they love to help me cook; some simple make up bags with nail polish and lip gloss; their own hair supply of combs, brushes, hair oil, hair bands and clips; and individual shower caddies with body washes, lotions, bath poofs. Then just a couple of inexpensive clothes, a book each, and a shared game. I will say, finally putting together these girly kits will make me smile, because even though we got all this stuff from Dollar Tree, I think they will love getting these kind of girly preteen kits, that's the kind of stuff they like now anyhow. And they don't know or care it's all cheap Dollar Tree stuff. . But it has saved us a ton of money.

Hopefully that will be enough to get me through Christmas and the girls won't be disappointed. I'm still not looking forward to being around people, so I don't know how I'm going to get through that. Sigh. It's just been so hard to get in the Christmas spirit after being hospitalized and all these appointments.