YES!! And I have a feeling others who suffer struggle with some guilt because of that. I have gone through awful cycles and I found myself constantly saying "I am sorry", and if I did not say it I was thinking it and feeling it. I also found that when I needed to vent here and posted I always wanted to conclude with an apology. Then I had noticed how a lot of other members who would start a thread did apologize and I found myself realizing how sad that is because these individuals must have been encouraged to feel ashamed for needing and having hurt or confused feelings.

I do think one has to be careful when struggling with PTSD not to feed into the guilt and shame part, as that is part of the challenge.

I am sorry you struggled with it for a long time not really knowing what it was and that there simply was not the kind of help and knowledge offered like there is now.