“You’ll be all set?” This sounds like an odd way to approach sex. All set for what?
How about basic companionship, how you interact in the same space, the feeling of having another human in your surroundings etc.
To me, IMHO, are you meeting just for sex or for the possibility of an actual relationship? I only ask bec you’ve stated that you can’t/won’t leave this person bec you think it’ll kill him. To me that sounds like a trap & this person has all the control. So basically that’s total power exchange.
If this is going to be an actual real life relationship sex is only a part of that.

This may sound old fashion, but why don’t you meet each other face to face in a 3D world before you hammer the intimate details in the bedroom. Like hold hands....kiss.
I hope you find that chemistry you want.