It's easy to be bitter about it . I guess also there's the expectation of "happy family's" it's like sold as the done thing . I also think that dysfunctional ones are a lot more common than people like to admit . For me I squared it in my brain a long time ago . In the end, I see it as , they gave me food so I didn't die of starvation and there was shelter until I was strong enough to stand up for myself . So in this area they completed their obligation fully . People can only hurt you if you allow them to , if you want something from them . Approval , friendship , understanding , compassion . Once you get to a point a switch gets turned . I can remember the day when I was 15 and I said to myself " these people will never have the opportunity to hurt me again " and I wiped them emotionally . I really meant this and my brain changed that day . Took away their power . My life is my problem and they don't get a say . That for me was the day I began to become who I am , who I was supposed to be .