Thank u all for listening and replying. My sensible head knows that I'm best off out of it but at the moment I'm finding that very difficult to process. It's the very last day that is haunting me the most. I do have people to talk to but I'm sick of hearing " just forget about him he's not worth it" I know this but if only it were that easy.
Before I ended up in hosp I begged my doc for help professional help. He prescribed me anti depressants and sent me home said it will all be fine. I'm nowhere near as bad as I was a week ago so that's a positive. I just can't believe the last 3yrs all seem to have been for nothing. I really did believe he loved me. I'm so confused right now