Quote:
Originally Posted by golden_eve
Constructive criticism is fine... I get it. 
I guess I just cannot be single! Even though I have been single for as long as a year in the past and for several months.
I meet men constantly because I am out a lot.... men get interested, so I respond.
I suppose loneliness will do that to a person. Maybe I just don't know how to be completely alone or how to not respond to some men (not ALL) who show an interest. I don't get involved with just anyone who shows interest. It has to be mutual.
This new guy... you ask good, thought provoking questions, and I don't have answers.
I guess I am struggling with being completely alone. I welcome a new friendship in my life because my life needs more of that. I have several very close friends, but one of my closest girlfriends has been completely unavailable to me lately. She hasn't even responded to any of my texts lately. She is busy with her family and her own issues, but I want to talk to someone during my free time. This guy is filling that need.
Maybe I am just too needy and dependent on people. I don't know, but now I feel worse. It is not your fault. Maybe writing about it is not helping me. |
It’s not that hard to meet men and most certainly men get interested. I was recently asked out because a guy didn’t notice my wedding ring. It’s no big deal. It doesn’t mean though you must respond if they are interested. You can’t possibly like every man who asks you out.
Do you have specific criteria for giving men your free time and even heck your phone number? You say you gave to like them but what else are you looking at besides attraction and good looks and them going to concerts? Does the new man have career? Education? Looking for commitment? Has kids? Is divorced (stil married?). What are his moral values? what else do you look into besides some of the surface things?
If you date because you are lonely, you might need to look for other things to keep busy. In my opinion you still need to be focused on building your independence and moving out and making money, not worrying about dates.
What’s concerning is that you have two heartbreaks within few months, had sex with someone else in between and now are dating this guy. It’s 4th man in short period of time. It’s concerning. The point isn’t that they all want you. Men want women all the time.
The point is why do you have to go with and eventually get involved with everyone who asks? And I understand going out as friends but that’s how your last one started. What does your therapist say?