I'm a middle-aged, single woman living 100+ miles away from my mother, but she still tries to control me. When I first moved away, more than 20 years ago, my mother called me once a week. After the advent of the internet, she bought a communications package that allows her to make unlimited long distance calls without charge, so she now calls me every day. Occasionally, she'll call me multiple times per day.

At first, she called at a set time, but now she calls me at different times (though usually at night). She wants to know everything I did during the day. My life is pretty dull; there's not much to talk about. If I don't answer when she calls (am not here, am not where I can reach the phone in time, or don't hear the phone), when she calls back later she wants to know specifically why I didn't pick up earlier.

I feel like cussing her out when she does that. Even though she knows it annoys me, she does it again and again, and then cuts the conversation short when she recognizes she's made me angry. Tonight was one of those times. She called earlier than she had been calling. If I give her a simple, direct answer about what I'm doing or was doing when she called, she starts asking more questions (e.g., "why are you doing that now?") Am I right to feel annoyed at my mother's behavior? How do I deal with my anger toward her?