I have been and I continue to be. That is what my therapist would say. The only reason I am triggered today is I am having to make a decision about how I pay for my housing and I am under an incredible amount of pressure from a government agency to make a decision right now and its really stressing me out. Its bringing everything to the forefront. I live in an unaffordable area and the only reason I can afford to live and work here is because I have below market rate housing. I have an opportunity to possibly lower my rent in the future if my income goes down and I'm under pressure right now to make a decision.

Its bringing up a toxic cesspool of feelings as every time I have to make an appointment to go to talk to one of these agents I have to schedule it around work and then schedule a ride and it costs time and money.

Everybody is saying I should think long and hard before giving up this opportunity but from my perspective this opportunity is just a headache and its gambling on a what if my income goes down. Its only motivating me to make sure my income does not go down but in fact goes up with a promotion.

I'm also having to think about when my daughter turns 18 and I no longer receive child support but her income counts towards my income for my apartment, and then there's planning for when she moves out which i have no idea. Its making me angry and stressed and then the government agency is getting frustrated with me because I keep vacillating. Why would I say yes to my rent going up on the possibility that my income might go down in the future and therefore my rent would go down with this new program? Its so frustrating.