Note: I ended up just writing out my feelings here, and feel better after doing that. Feel free to respond though. Here's what I wrote.

I think I need to accept the fact that...despite the fact that I'm learning to communicate civilly and in healthy ways with my brother now, he is who he is, and the way he sometimes responds to me, feels invalidating and dismissive (he doesn't think he's being that way). It makes me so angry, and I feel powerless and upset about it. But maybe I will have to accept that I cannot be as open with him as I want to be, and to keep my distance sometimes. Other times, we get along really well. And maybe just accept that.

What happened was.....We were in the kitchen talking at my parents house. I started talking about something I felt insecure about him knowing, and at the same time, he looked at the clock. I stopped talking and ended up SAYING "I feel like you are judging me for this by looking at the clock." (he was doing it earlier too...he was making his breakfast and I was talking and he wasn't looking at me and I felt like he wasn't listening but when I said something, he sounded defensive and said "you j just said..." and repeated a little of what I'd said) He said in what sounded like a short, dismissive / defensive way "well I know you have to go soon." (he was keeping an eye on the time). But he didn't say anything like "I am not judging you." or "don't worry." Perhaps I shouldn't look for that reassurance from him, and just try not to bring up certain topics. I texted him, and he said he disagreed that he was being dismissive, and that he'd wanted to talk to me. We might talk tomorrow when I go back to my parents for dinner.

I wish I didn't feel crazy for having the feelings I do. I am learning that I have some BPD traits. But I don't think that that makes me (or anyone else with BPD or BPD traits) crazy. If anything, my feelings are valid, just...maybe bigger and more intense sometimes than the average person, and they're definitely bigger than the average Insensitive person, lol. I'm glad I communicated with my brother how I felt in a civil way. I think he has his own issues emotionally, and with communication too. A long time ago, he was diagnosed with Aspergers. But he doesn't feel like that fits him. He doesn't really accept psychological labels or diagnoses for himself though.