I'm new to this website, but everyone has been so supportive.

Not sure what I'm looking for, answers or similar feelings...

But I don't know how long I can last feeling this depth of pain.

I lost a partner to suicide, and though I had been diagnosed well before us meeting, it changed me as a person. I lost that small bit of optimism.

There are so many things and people I love, good schooling and career, but none of that matters right now. Apparently I also have PTSD, but not sure how that weighs in since I've been living with a lot of memories. It's really a label.

I can't keep feeling this way. It's more than pain. I don't know. I have doctors. I really just don't know.