I might try to uncancel but I’m not quite there yet. I have this whole push/pull dynamic going on and it’s taken on a life of its own. I’m trying to understand it intellectually and usually I am able to make myself go, but I also have an overwhelming urge to prove that I’m not needy. My thought process was that if I could go without seeing him for 2 weeks, then maybe I could do 3 weeks. Seems sort of crazy when I put it in writing. I just feel so much guilt and shame over getting anything from T. So much so, that I need to prove that I don’t really need it.