I just had a conversation about this with a friend whose son is being bullied. She was faced with others telling her to tell her son to ignore it or fight back. I told her absolutely not to tell her son to ignore it or 'be a man'. My reasoning is that this only gives the child the message that such behaviour is normalized. This in turn causes the child to expect such treatment and question their self worth. On the contrary my advice was to get the teacher, school, and school board involved. The child also needs to know it is safe to go to an adult.

I relate this as I have a 'victim mentality' going back to my own years of continued and worsening bullying. It was as though I had a target on my back that made me fair game for such treatment - which I came to feel I deserved. The childhood bullying went on into adulthood where my first too husbands became my bullies and tormentors too. I lived with it because it all went back to being told those years ago to be a 'good girl' and 'ignore it'.