Right now I have so many good things happening that should make me happy, but all I can think about is killing myself.

My brother has a philosophy "There are worse things than death." I agree & say the same thing about living. What if I mess up and end up a vegetable the rest of my life, or horribly disfigured? That is one thing that has held me back. Maybe one day I will have the courage to do what needs to be done.