I am going to empower myself if it kills me. I want to not care how others react/don't react to me, but it feels emotional like other things. I thought H didn't want to be around me anymore. I asked and it wasn't so. I now think that maybe you are irritated with me, although you sent me a kind text. I appreciated the reassurance. I am having daily episodes either at work or at home. I hope you don't give up on me because I am not getting better enough in a certain time frame.

I think that me realizing what is going on as far as the negative emotions is a huge improvement from the past. And the fact that I am seeking to communicate with others (H) to test to see if my negative emotions are right or not. So far, not. I'm going to make it. I'm going to make it. ?