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Old Apr 25, 2018, 12:13 AM
IceCreamKid IceCreamKid is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Jan 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,260
Quote:
Originally Posted by seriouslyfunny View Post
In my previous posts, I have discussed how I truly and emphatically believe that my husband is passive aggressive. He masks his true feelings in most situations, which makes it incredibly difficult to feel secure in a relationship.

I have told him on numerous occasions (we’ve been married for a long time) if you aren’t happy, you should leave. Please do not stay out of loyalty or obligation because that would make both of us miserable. We are pretty close right now.

I have told him, I wasn’t happy with some of the behaviors he demonstrates. I have asked him to work on some things. I don’t leave because I think he is the one driving the wedge between us. I need for him to be honest, first, then I would be better equipped to make a decision. It would be hard for me to leave without closure. I would always wonder if I assumed or was too impatient etc...

Although we spend time together, he seems to enjoy being alone. He will say that he wants to spend time with me and invite me into his space, but then he ignores me, gets on his computer or places music intolerably loud, so I will end up leaving. He gets what he wants without saying a word and still comes out looking like the good guy because he wanted to spend time with his wife (perception).

I have always had a healthy self-esteem, but the game is starting to wear me down. if he isn’t happy with the marriage, why does he stay? What is the benefit?
He may very well be "happy" with the marriage as it is--he gets to toy with you emotionally whenever he is feeling peevish and you put up with it. If he pulled that kind of a stunt with his boss or with a friend he might get fired or he might get a punch in the snoot. A lot of the people I've known who were passive aggressive had their pet victims to practice their P-A craft on. I'm thinking you are your hub's favorite victim. You might want to consider this: "How do I want my life to go from now forward?" and also "How do I want my life to go from now forward knowing that the hubs is unlikely to change?" I wish you the best.
Hugs from:
seriouslyfunny
Thanks for this!
graystreet, seriouslyfunny, Shazerac