I go through my "useless" stage on a regular basis, especially when my students (mostly seniors) stare at me with that "duh" look on their faces when I'm trying to teach something. Or perhaps they're asleep, talking to someone and trying desperately to be funny or cool, or maybe they're staring out the window, thinking about sports. You know teens - "this is boring, why can't we just do nothing, can we watch a movie, I'm never going to use this, etc". I always ask if I'm doing anything wrong or if I could be doing something differently. I *try* to get used to it because I should be used to it. I should be used to indifference. I can't change who the Lord has put in my class. I can't change my "customers" or "co-workers", per se.

The fact is - most of our feelings are simply absorbed from our environment and then transformed into something else. So for me, indifference = anger or frustration. But it isn't us, it's them. Being high performing, intense characters that BPs are, we tend to internalize a lot of stuff and look for solutions. Answers. But there aren't any. Life is one day at a time, one action at a time. It all adds up to something - perhaps it sucks, perhaps it's acceptable, perhaps it's great. But who are we to judge? Society always looks for decisive conclusions, and it's tempting to fight. But as people, we are what and who we are. No more, no less.