I understand what you mean about being told a reaction isn't normal. It's very pathologizing. I had this with ex-T, when she'd talk about how my transference for ex-MC was "as intense as it gets." It made me feel like a freak. Or how she'd talk about my OCD at times, particularly obsessive thoughts, and just seem judgmental about them. Or the fact that I was still struggling with anxiety and depression after X amount of time, implying that I should be better by now. Or she'd say how I'm intelligent and competent and imply that I should be able to manage things better...

And more recently, current T said I probably spend more time thinking about the relationship with him than any other client. I did tell him how that bothered me, and he said it was just an observation, not meant as a judgment, which made me feel better. And we've discussed it more since then, too. So I would talk to your T about how that made you feel. Has he worked much with trauma? If not, maybe he's just not familiar with how strongly it can affect people. But I definitely think you need to tell him how you feel. This might actually be more about him than you--that maybe he's unsure if he's helping you. But that's stuff he should deal with on his own, not share with you. He shouldn't be making you feel guilty about not being better.