Wow, that sounds like a very difficult session. It's good you were able to be open with your T about what was going on in your head when she said some of those things.

To answer your question, when I hit that point (both with ex-T in general and in her not helping me work through the ex-MC thing), I started looking around at other T's. I had the intention that I'd just go see a new one for a sort of "consultation," like a second opinion, for just a few sessions or maybe a couple months, then go back to ex-T. However, I ended up finding now-current-T's different perspective to be really helpful. I'd been with ex-T for 6 years (and ex-MC for around 4...) and think I just needed fresh eyes and a different style. So I just stayed with him. Has it all been smooth sailing? No (see: my updates from a few weeks ago with the whole transitional object debacle, though we seem to have come back from that). But I feel I'm learning and growing much more with him, at least as compared with, say, the last 3 years of seeing ex-T.

Would you be open to trying a different T, even just for a brief period? Maybe one who uses a different modality, say? I forget how long you've been seeing your current T.