Thank you for your perspective on this! I agree with your points, but have alarm bells going off regarding the bad childhood thing. I was truly privileged, and treated well, and feel profoundly guilty for displaying behavior that might make people think I'd had an abusive (or even just bad) childhood. Despite having so much support and kindness, I'm still screwed up, which means this is all internal stuff, all my fault, and should have been under my control! Like, I can't say, "Mother didn't think I was good enough, so now I'm emotionally stunted" or something.

I've had a couple people I know in the real world ask if I was abused, but I wasn't. They point out I have a lot of traits of emotional abuse, but I feel like a crappy person because I know my behavior is completely self-generated. There's no reason that I'm like this, other then I'm maybe just a bad person, haha.

Pardon the rambling...